My Life So Far...

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 06:19:57 GMT

Lying in bed, the covers a shield from reality
Lying next to you, a thousand miles away

The moment fights with reason, my impulses battling the truth
The desire to kiss you overwhelms my weak form,
But our moves have been made, the pieces in place
And we’ve landed ourselves a stalemate

How is it right to sit here idle
How is it right to be together, apart
How is it wrong to show you affection
When you are the cell that is jailing me

If I could freeze this moment, or endlessly loop it
And ignore consequences, ignore the future
I would follow my body, my heart and my soul
But nothing is frozen; the future looms near
Our reality will soon take it’s toll

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 07:11:28 GMT

And with the steady beat of my chest
Her necklace bobs up and down
Never will it come to rest

I know it’s for the best
But the best is what clouds my vision
The golden memories that rise to the surface
Eclipsing the pain below

Fourty twenty foresite
Twenty fourty hindsite
Everything’s pretty through the lense of nostalgia
Everything’s worth it once you’ve let go

And with the steady beat of my chest
Her necklace bobs up and down
Never will it come to rest

Fade away good
I want the bad to sharpen
I want my actions justified
Prove my decision right

I want to see storms,
And rain and hail and thunder
But all I see is sunshine, rainbows
Fluffly clouds and light

And with the steady beat of my chest
Her necklace bobs up and down
Never will it come to rest

But even through the guilt trips,
The fights, the tears, the screams
I fear that I may have left
The woman of my dreams

And even through the guilt trips,
The fights and all the screams
I fear that I just left
The woman of my dreams

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 06:42:46 GMT

This is just a fragment; in progress.

~~~

My fingertips ache for the feel of your skin
and my hands long for your back
My arms want to hold you, protect you from pain
To make up for the things that I lack

My lips restlessly anticipate contact with yours
My hands want to hold you, protect you from harm
My torso's too light, it lacks your weight
When you run up and jump in my arms

I want to lie with you, our limbs helplessly twisted
Our bodies melting together into one
Fitting together like two puzzle pieces
Lying blissfully under the sun

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 01:04:34 GMT

My favorite song I've written.

~~~

It's so great to see you
It's been way too Goddamn long
Let's reminisce about old times
And all the fun we used to have

Chorus:
Inside joke here
Meaningful memory there
Sudden realization that you've grown out of reach
That one doesn't go anywhere

We never talk anymore
I've just been really busy
But I'm glad I saw you here
I forgot how close we used to be

(chorus)

It was so nice to talk
I just love catching up
I have to get going now
But we should hang out soon
But we should hang out soon

(chorus)

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 01:03:03 GMT

My first song.

~~~

all the times that we had
feel so close to me now
all the things that we did
i can't comprehend how

we'll be leaving ourselves soon
in just a few days
the memories linger
in a troubled, blue haze

when we saw exit wounds
the first time we hung out
to the runs down magnolia
out the window we'd shout

chorus:
these are the days i remember
these are the moments i love
these are the times i know that i'll cherrish
when i'm no longer here, dwelling above

i don't regret a thing
well that isn't true
i regret not spending enough time with you

we never spoke of it
but i know it exists
an unbreakable linking
that i already miss

it was clear everytime
we said hi or fuck you
it never was mentioned
but you felt it too

(chorus)

when we've drifted apart further than now
and you're working at the washington post
remember the hours, the days we spent laughing
remember the times that meant the most

they cannot be brough back with money or fame
but everytime that i hear someone say your name
i'll know that our connection exists to this day
through all of the hardships, all of the pain

i love you to death, i mean that for real
but i'll never know if that's how you feel

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 00:57:55 GMT

I don't think this even qualifies as a song, but whatever.

~~~

Driving back from my house,
We chatted about this and that
I’m in love with someone else
But you’re the one that I know I’d be happy with

You’re the only girl who’s made me laugh
The only one on the same level as me
And I didn’t take advantage when the door was open
And now it’s closed indefinately

You don’t want to get involved with me
Because I’m involved with someone else
Why can’t we go back
and Pretend she never happened?

I can fall out of love
And even if I don’t
This opportunity can’t be missed
Please come back to me!

It will kill me and become my biggest regret yet
If I don’t take you now, if I let this slip through

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 16:25:48 GMT

We sit on the couch, the rain beating down
My arms around his knees, I hold on for his comfort
He comforts me, and loves me back
But his eyes' focus dart elsewhere

She's far, far away, me and him are right here
Would he be with her if she was more near?
If I'm his number two, his number one a voice on the phone
Than he can be with that voice, but he'll still be alone

Saying he wants me, I'm his love but I must wait
I'm starting to get impatient, waiting for out date
He needs sometime to get over her and then he can settle down
But if this doesn't happen soon, and his gaze remains out of town
I might just give up.

I love his smile, his laugh, and his touch
I want to love him, and to be with him, and I want it so much
But if tomorrow she moves out here, if tomorrow she hops on a plane,
Will he drop me in an instant for her, and is my love worth that pain?

If my heart is in Asuza, but my crush is in Marin
Is being with my crush an unforgivable sin?
And if I visit her in LA, will my crush fade away?
Or will my feelings for her freeze, inactive but they stay?

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 05:11:26 GMT

Your glistening portrait's been
Splattered with the oily stains of betrayal
Your apologies cannot wash them off and
Nothing can remove the streaks
Running down your picture like
The tears down my face

You've held me tight and
Given me consul
While ordering my execution behind my back
So when the snipers fire and the blood flows
I'll be in your arms
And you can tend in vein
To the wounds that you caused

If you put out a hit on enough of your friends
They'll stop coming to you for help
They'll dodge the bullet
And it will hit you instead
And no one will be left
To help stop the bleeding
And you'll die, friendless and alone

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 04:57:26 GMT

I like you. I would like to have a relationship with you. Would you like to join me, and we can have exciting adventures and journeys? I think it will be fun.

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 01:01:07 GMT

This has nothing to do with anyone I know, just a random song that was inside

~~~

There's blood slowly dripping down the walls of his soul
The spear of her words still lodged in his chest
His hope destroyed, it's suddenly crushed by the girl that he thought was different than the rest

Chorus:
She's blinded him from the truth
Hid her true intentions behind a veil
Shrouded herself in deceptive affection
Just so he would try and fail

She stands triumphantly over his bleeding, lifeless body
Sticks in the psear a little bit deeper
He's broken forever, gasping for life
Yet still, he wants nothing more than to keep her

(chorus)

Bridge:
He claws at her feet
her pants now bloodstained
She doesn't give a fuck
She delights in his pain
But he's going to keep on fighting

(chorus)

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 06:13:15 GMT

Standing at the fringes of the battlefield
Witnessing the mayhem
Hearts ripped out, trust destroyed, souls forever broken
Certain death lies beyond.

A prize sits unguarded at the end of the destruction
Waiting to be claimed
All that lies between us is the chaos and havoc
Of the never ending battle.

Chorus:
So I stand here waiting
For the battle axe to strike
And cut me in half
As I try in vein to fight

The battle will be won
By the chaos in between
Most likely I will lose
And the prize will only be seen

I grab the flask in my hand
and take a swig of ignorant hope
To fuel me through this fight

I don't hesitate for an instant
To consider the lousy odds
I just grab my dying faith in her
And run blindly into the fight

(chorus)

Bridge:

Can I even possibly win?
This battle has been lost so many times before
I see the suffering right in front of me
Yet I still try in vein to score

(chorus)

(acoustic guitar:)
The battle's halfway over
And I'm coming out on top
The fire burns above me
I wait for it to drop

And as I run through mesmerized
By the flame above my head
It distracts me from the prize
And soon, I'll be dead

I'm within reaching distance
Of the girl I desire
My eyes won't stop burning
My soul is on fire

As I reach out and touch her
I fall to the ground
Will she help me up?
Will she make a sound?

I don't know if she wants me
But I still try in vein
I lean into her ear
And whisper her name.

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 06:10:19 GMT

Through all of the pain they shared on the phone
The hugs, the tears, and the heartbreak
It never happened between them
They were never more than friends

Blinded by the legions of girls
Who consumed his life and his heart
He never committed to the obvious choice
The angel who watched from afar

She was the friend who was always their
With her conspicuous smile and auburn hair
They jumped from the lilipads
from one to another